Stigmas and other BULL SHIT

SO today I decided to write about one of the worst aspects of having genital herpes. For me, it's even worse then the outbreaks. The worse thing is the label, and the stigma that most people associate with genital herpes.

I don't blame anyone for their judgments, because before I got it, I was the same way. I remember one time this guy I know told me that the night before these really hot girls were drinking with him in his dorm, and ended up crashing on his bed. Then, the next day, after the girls left, someone told him those girls were sluts and had STDs. He became horrified they had slept in his bed, and washed and sanitized everything. I remember not wanting to even go to his dorm room because people who might have had STDs had been there. How stupid. What, did I think I was going to get an STD by just entering a room that someone with an STD had slept in?

People fear what they don't know. If I had been more informed, I would have known I don't need to be afraid of people with STDs. There's no way to get them, without sexual contact and fluid transfer. People who have STDs need support; they are probably having a lot of trouble dealing with it. If they have the great courage it takes to admit to you they have one, the only acceptable response is love and compassion towards that person.

I read somewhere on the internet that if I take Valtrex, when I have sex again, and if he wears a condom, and I'm not having an outbreak, the chances of spreading the virus could be as low and about 1%.

I have outbreaks, but medications make having the virus manageable.

The worst attitude people can have is assuming because I have genital herpes, that automatically makes me a slut. I'm not a slut. I have had sex a few times, but I might have had the virus even before I had sex, when I was technically a virgin. I don't know what type I have, so I could have gotten it from just receiving oral. People can get STDs from only having sex one time. Or from rape. Getting one doesn't have anything to do with out "slutty" you are, and does not correlate at all with how many times you have had sex.

People who look down on those with STDs are iggnorant. Just because for some reason they don't have one, does that make them any better then those who do? OF COURSE NOT.

Since starting this blog, I've started reading other peoples blogs concerning their own person experiences with genital herpes. It's been my observation that a great number of people fall into only two categories:

1) People in Dispair
These people are in a low place, just because of their diagnosis. They let the virus beat them, by letting it dictate their lives. They abstain from sex, and stay away from intimate relationships, because of fear of the rejection they expect when their partner learns about their problems.

2) People who have rose above it
These people have it the same problems as people in category one, but instead of letting it get them down, they rise above it, and make it only a small part of their lives, not a major road block. These people know the real facts about herpes, and know that life goes on. The surprising thing is, it seems like when people tell partners about their problems, the partner is mostly supportive and stays with them. This has been the case in many, many, many of the stories I've found on the internet. And the people that can't accept it, they don't deserve to have sex with you anyways. They are the ones missing out. To all the people who fit into this group, I truly admire you, and am so glad you are able to rise above your problems.


The unfortunate thing is that too many people fall into the first group. And to those people, I urge you to realize you can rise about this, and be so much more then just a diagnosis.

A startling fact:

Results of a nationally representative study show that genital herpes infection is common in the United States. Nationwide, at least 45 million people ages 12 and older, or one out of five adolescents and adults, have had genital HSV infection.

I am not alone in this.

If this statistic is true, then I wonder how many people out there are just like me? SICK of the label we are given and the stigma a lot of people have about genital herpes. It's bull shit, and I hate that we have to put up with it.